Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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