if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I party with great urgency now.
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