i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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