I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
