dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
