Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
