It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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