she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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