ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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