I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
