I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Randomize
