at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
