It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
