it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize