I should be sponsored by Trojan
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize