No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We need a shit load of segways right now
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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