He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
