Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
