you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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