is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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