A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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