Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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