those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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