Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
