North Korea, Best Korea!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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