Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it penis luge time yet?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
