you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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