she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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