she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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