He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
