I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
