In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
