Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
