I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize