I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
