There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
