It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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