We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
