Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The air taste purple.
Randomize
