i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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