we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
