I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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