yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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