what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
