Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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