ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
