oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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