i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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