You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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