I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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