Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
