so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
