so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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