why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
