I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
