I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize