just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
