TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
FUCK WHALES
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
