Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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