Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
