You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
